


The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Hell

by shuuiwamine



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), The Brave Little Toaster (1987)
Genre: Gen, i am so sorry i am so so so fufcking sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23654350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuuiwamine/pseuds/shuuiwamine
Summary: DISCLAIMER: i dont like hazbin hotel. i dont support vivziepop and i dont support the show. this fic is SATIRE and i do not endorse anything vivziepop has done.after radio's death, toaster and the gang have to go to hell to save him. on their journey, they encounter a particular radio demon.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Hell

Alastor had been working with Charlie for, what was it, a few days now? Like he was keeping track. He did know time flew by way faster in Hell than it did where he came from, anyway.  
Right now, everybody else was asleep. Despite not needing to sleep, demons liked to. Sloth was one of the seven deadly sins, no one could forget. Of course they'd like to sleep, whether or not they needed it to function.  
Alastor, however, enjoyed staying awake. Right now, he was outside, watching everything pass by. Not doing much, only standing. Who would try to hurt him, anyway? He was the "radio demon," as they called him. Capable of taking out any of Hell's rulers, if he really wanted to.  
But for now, all he did was sit and stare at the cars that passed the Hotel. Not a single one even stopped to look at it as they went on their way to who-knows-where.  
That's just kinda how it is.

/

"Is everyone ready?" Toaster asked their friends, who were sitting in a circle with a drawn red pentagram on the floor beneath them.  
"Um, I think so," Blanky mumbled quietly from his spot on the pentagram. It almost looked like blood, but it was spaghetti sauce, Blanky reminded himself. No death had happened... yet. He gulped.  
Lampy scrunched up his lampshade in annoyance. "I don't see what the point of doing this ritual is, anyway. Why are we going to Hell again?"  
"Because Radio is trapped there!" Toaster reminded him with an almost frighteningly happy smile. "As his friends, it's our job to bring him back."  
"Like I want to bring him back," Lampy commented. He sounded like he wanted to say more, but he kept his mouth shut.   
"Okay everybody, if we're all ready to take our trip to Hell, let's say the magic words!"  
They all held hands -- and cords, because who could forget the fact that Lampy has no arms -- and began to recite the chant that they got from a particularly weird Satan-worshipping bathroom sink.   
"Tell the fiery lord of Hell,  
To let us into His domain.  
To do so we recite this spell,  
And agree our souls He shall claim!"  
The floor, even if it was just canned pasta sauce, began to light up a bright red white. Toaster grinned as the group of appliances started to brighten too, slowly being sent into Hell.

/

As Alastor watched the road, he felt something in the back of his mind. Something that he hadn't felt in all his time being in Hell.  
It was the sense that something was wrong.   
Obviously things were going wrong. He was in Hell, after all. But this was different than any other feeling of wrongness you got when you entered the gates of Hell. Almost like he was about to be hit by a big metal bat; he was at risk here, not some random demon he cared little for.  
Why would he be at risk though?  
For a moment, he felt the urge to turn behind him and see if anyone was preparing to strike at him from a point where he "couldn't" see.   
Nobody was there, though.  
Just who was after him?

/

It hadn't taken them long to get places with the map that that sink gave them. It was actually a pretty accurate layout of Hell, and that relieved Toaster quite a bit of their previous anxiety.  
Speaking of anxiety, Blanky was terrified. He hung onto Kirby's side and wouldn't let go since they dropped from the strange red portal onto the crumbled concrete sidewalks of Hell.  
"Toaster?" Blanky said, and Toaster knew exactly what was going to come next. "I'm scared. When will we be at the Hotel?"  
"I don't know, Blanky," Toaster replied. "It doesn't actually have it on the map. Only a circle where it says it'll be. It does say we should be there in a few minutes though-"  
"Over there!"  
Lampy was pointing his cord at a particularly disastrous building. It was tinted red, like most things in Hell, and it appeared like someone took random pieces of a house and smashed them together. On top of it was a red glowing sign that read HAZBIN HOTEL.  
Toaster's eyes widened and brightened. "That's definitely the one! Good work, Lampy!"  
Lampy smiled and nodded. He began hopping towards the Hotel, and everyone else followed close behind.  
Only Toaster noticed the red figure standing outside.

/

"Hey! You!" Toaster shouted, still a small distance from the Hotel itself. Even so, the red figure was capable of hearing them.  
Alastor turned his head. His eyes widened. Oh no. Was he hallucinating?  
"Tell us where you put our friend, Radio!" Toaster shouted even louder.  
But Alastor couldn't reply. If he did, they'd find out all about his secret.  
Much to his horror, the cluster of appliances drew closer to the Hotel, with Toaster at the front shouting about giving them an answer and whatnot. For once in his life in Hell, Alastor almost felt threatened.  
"Mister, you better start talking!" Toaster exclaimed. "Where is Radio?"  
Alastor tried his hardest not to speak. He could feel part of his wide toothy smile start to curl downward.  
Lampy tuned out Toaster's shouting and the red demon's lack of response to it. He was focusing on the demon's appearance. It seemed... out of place.  
The stripes, the red, the yellow teeth. The weird smile, the... the...  
Is that a radio microphone?  
Lampy was no expert on that kind of business, but that was certainly those weird microphones people use for talking on the radio. With the "ON AIR" stuff and all that?  
"What's up with your microphone?" Lampy asked, loudly enough to cut Toaster off.  
Alastor's eyes widened a bit more, if that were even possible, and he looked at his radio microphone. It looked back.  
He looked away.  
"Yeah, and those stripes on your suit look awfully familiar," Kirby chimed in. "Your smile, too."  
Toaster gasped. "Radio! Is that-"  
"Would you keep quiet!?"  
The appliances silenced themselves. They knew that voice. The demon was Radio.

/

Alastor's smile still didn't leave his face, but he could feel that it wanted to. This was far from a happy situation, but what if someone saw?  
"What happened to you, Radio?" Toaster questioned him. "Why are you a demon?"  
"It's a long story..." Alastor replied. He didn't really want to get into the fact that his anger towards them made him turn into a demon. That'd be a weird talk on the trip home.   
"Yeah, well you better tell us, because we need to head home!" Kirby sternly told him.  
"Trust me, I can change back," Alastor said. "But why I even changed at all is a discussion for later."  
"Well, come on then! Let's get back to the master!" Toaster beamed, already turning away.  
"No."  
The appliances fell silent in shock. "No?!" Toaster asked, mouth agape.  
"I want to... stay here," Alastor spoke. "I don't have to go back to being an appliance if I don't want to."   
"But Radio," Blanky stuttered, still very quiet and afraid. "We're your friends. Don't you want to be with us?"  
"I have friends here as well."  
The objects just stared at him, like they didn't know what else to say. He wasn't going anywhere, they started to realize. He was serious.  
Suddenly, Lampy clicked his base against ground.  
"Radio, can we speak privately, perhaps?" He demanded. He sounded angry, genuinely. That wasn't something Alastor wasn't used to, though.

/

Lampy had dragged Alastor all the way to the other side of the building, though they were still outside of it. Not like anyone who saw would care, Lampy supposed.  
"What would you need to say to me?" Alastor asked, back turned to Lampy. "You're probably glad to not have me around any longer, Lampy."  
That one almost stung Lampy, almost.   
"Can't you just agree to come back, Radio?" Lampy said, ignoring the previous comment. "Everyone wants you back."  
"What kind of life do I get to have living as an appliance?" Alastor asked. "I have to be used all day, and tormented by the higher tech objects that think I'm not good for anything. Here, I'm free. I'm respected."  
"That's what you want? Respect?" Lampy snapped. "You think we don't respect you enough, Radio? How selfish are you!?"  
Alastor only laughed in reply. He said nothing, and that only infuriated Lampy more.  
"I don't know if you think this is some joke for real, or if all this demon stuff has turned you awful, but listen to me Radio. For once, just listen to me!"  
He could see that Alastor almost turned around, but he kept his back facing Lampy. No indication that he'd keep talking, though, so Lampy went on.  
"I know you're mad that you had to die! I know that! But it was for the greater good, Radio, and you know it. Without that sacrifice, all the animals would have died instead of you! And if you come back, we found one of those dumb bulb things, I don't know the name, it had numbers in it... what was it..."  
A pause. Lampy shook his head, he was getting off track.  
"Radio, what I'm saying is, the master needs you. Everyone else needs you, and... and I need you, Radio. Please just come back."  
Alastor -- no, Radio, -- turned around to look at Lampy with wide crimson eyes.  
His smile was completely gone.

/

What was once the radio demon Alastor was now a pile of discarded red clothing with a small red radio sitting in the center.  
Lampy hopped over to Radio and wrapped his cord around him.  
"I knew that'd convince you," Lampy said.  
Radio tapped Lampy's head with his antenna. "Yeah, yeah. We should probably get going. Portals aren't a 24/7 business here, y'know."  
"Alright," Lampy replied with a smile. "Let's get home."  
They made their way back to the others, who also smiled upon seeing Radio in his normal form. Nobody seemed to question the fact that Lampy was still hugging tightly to him.  
"Now, how do we get home?" Toaster asked Radio.  
"I know some guys who'll definitely take us back to where we need to go. I'm kinda loaded with cash here, not to brag."  
"And you know the way?"   
Radio nodded. "Of course I do! Just follow me."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading my fic, or scrolling down to the bottom to see the notes. either way, thanks for looking at it. stan gay people (shipname for radio x lampy)


End file.
